


Insomnia

by SecretMaker



Series: Tumblr Drabbles 2015 [111]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretMaker/pseuds/SecretMaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a>
</p></blockquote>





	Insomnia

9-9-15  
Prompt: Insomnia  
Pairing: BokuAka  
Rating: G  
  
Akaashi lay awake, staring at the ceiling while Bokuto slept peacefully beside him. He takes a deep breath and listens to Bokuto snoring and tries to fight back the panic rising in him.   
  
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the growing din in his head, but it was no use. Deciding it was mildly better to be able to see something he knew was real, he let his eyes slide back open, sighing softly.   
  
It had been like this as long as he could remember, though at first it hadn’t been so bad. A few sleepless nights here and there had turned into a few sleepless weeks, but he could handle it. He was young, after all. He could bounce back. But as he got older and started taking on more responsibilities the panics had started.   
  
In high school it had been okay. He had had his own bedroom then, so he didn’t bother anyone. He could lay awake and tremble and cry all he wanted and he wouldn’t be waking anyone up. When he had gone to college, however, and moved in with Bokuto, he quickly realized he couldn’t do that anymore.  
  
If Bokuto knew something was wrong he would blame himself.  
  
Akaashi knew that one of the things Bokuto loved about him was how reliable he could be. Bokuto needed that stability in his life, needed someone who could be constant and strong when Bokuto himself was a whirlwind of emotion. Akaashi had to be what Bokuto could not.  
  
Still, it didn’t seem that easy when the clock ticked past fifty-five hours since he’d last slept. Slowly, carefully, he sat up and curled his knees to his chest, leaning his forehead against them. He allowed himself one shaky breath as he began to cry.  
  
“Aright, that’s enough.” Bokuto’s voice startled him out of his tense posture. He looked over to see the man awake and watching him with canny golden eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry, did I wake you, Bokuto-sa-”  
  
“Keiji,” Bokuto interrupted. He shifted the blankets aside and sat up against the headboard. “Keiji, stop hiding from me.” It was gently said, and it made Akaashi want to cry more. Bokuto watched him with a serious face, then opened his arms. “Come on.”  
  
Akaashi crawled into Bokuto’s embrace, feeling very small. Bokuto gathered him close and rested his chin on Akaashi’s head.  
  
“What’s got you so worked up?” he whispered.  
  
“I don’t know,” Akaashi answered. “It’s always been like this.” Bokuto hummed, squeezing him tighter.  
  
“From now on I want you to wake me up, okay?” Akaashi shook his head.  
  
“I can’t do that to you,” he said.  
  
“You can and you will.” Bokuto over so he could look Akaashi in the eye. “Keiji, when we started this relationship I promised I would be there for you. I can’t do that if you won’t tell me when you need me.” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Akaashi’s.   
  
“But I’m supposed to be the strong one.” Akaashi hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but he couldn’t really regret it either. Bokuto leaned back and opened his eyes again.  
  
“Keiji, how do you feel when I’m having a bad day?” he asked. Akaashi stared at him, and he nodded encouragingly.  
  
“Like shit,” he answered, still lost.  
  
“And how do you feel when I try to pretend I’m fine?” The very thought sent a stab of despair and anger through Akaashi. Bokuto must have seen it on his face, because he continued. “That’s how this feels,” he said. “I love you. I’m your boyfriend. It’s my job to help you through the things you can’t let other people see.” He pulled Akaashi closer again, this time settling his head on the crook of Akaashi’s shoulder. “Please let me help you. Please let me in.”  
  
Akaashi wasn’t sure when he started to cry, but he did know that Bokuto held him through it. He didn’t say anything more, just hummed little melodies and rocked them back and forth, every now and then kissing Akaashi’s cheek, or his temple, or his neck. Akaashi let himself relax into the feeling, and he felt the panic slip back into its cave in the back of his mind.  
  
When the sunlight woke Akaashi up at noon the next day, he almost cried with relief.  
  
That was the first time he had ever slept for eight hours straight.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com)


End file.
